Whatever t'heck's in yer fridge.

We all have those days. You know the ones where we really want something good to eat but we don't have the right ingredients to make any of our favorites and most of what's in the fridge is strange leftovers. I had a day like such as that today. And from those strange, seemingly misfit leftovers I made a delicious lunch.

'Kay, so I have this thing about calling procedures "recipes". So let me be clear, this here is a procedure for making a meal, not a recipe, and you can follow it exactly or use whatever the heck you want/have.

You'll need:
1 Can of tuna
1 med onion, diced
a heck of a lot of bacon grease (if you substitute this please, please use butter and not vegetable oil, vegetable oil tastes like crap...or "carp" if you're talking to my three-year-old niece.)
2ish cups of old nasty rice
1T hoisin sauce, soy sauce or whatever kind of sauce
some egg yolks
soy sauce
salt and pepper to taste

Drain the tuna and set it aside. Take a huge skillet and saute the onions with the bacon grease over med-high heat. Mmm. Fat, I love fat. When the onions start getting golden-ish, add the tuna and smash it to bits, little, tiny, savory bits. I would like to point out that adding bacon grease to anything, even something boring like canned tuna makes it amazing. Ok, when that's all nice and steamy together dump in your rice, stir all together and then add the sauce. Cool, smells yummy, no? Ok, now make a little well in the middle of your rice/tuna/onion mess and add the egg yolks. Stirring quickly mix the egg yolks all through and when they're all cooked take it out. Right now I can tell what you're thinking; "Wow, this looks disgusting, what the heck was she thinking?" to which my answer is; "You're a doofus, you'll thank me when this goes in your mouth." Drizzle the whole bowl with soy sauce and add whatever salt and pepper you think is good. Now, I want you to enjoy the fact that you; a)got leftovers out of your fridge, b) were able to let go of your anal retentiveness and follow a procedure not a recipe and, c) are eating something totally delicious. Feeds 2-3.

Buona? SI! A dopo tutti.